Disturbing news friends, disturbing news. Apparently, a Hooters restaurant is opening not 10 minutes from where I work!

Foul Play

Shocking!

I don’t know about the rest of you, but for me, as a sensitive, new-age male, the opening of an institute designed solely around exploiting the looks of pretty young women horrifies me!

I mean, can you imagine the plight of these girls? Through no fault of their own, they were born winners of the genetic lottery, growing to have the kind of physiques that would allow them to earn a not-insignificant wage performing the most trivial of tasks, while all of their peers earn their livings as soul-destroying office drones! Posing for photos, standing and smiling next to cars at trade show, serving fried chicken in restaurants! The horror! These poor creatures, taken advantage of in that way!

Why, this whole situation is so disgusting that I’d…I’d…I’d burn a bra in outrage! Yes, that’s what I’d do, if I was wearing one. (That’s only for Saturday nights, down behind the bar, and you’d have to call me by ‘Susan’ if you ran into me.)

Durban guys! We must rally to support of these young women and their struggle! The only decent thing to do is go down there right now and give them the most generous tips we can, so that they can afford to keep themselves in nice clothes and put themselves through higher education without taking on the back-breaking bank loans that the less endowed have to endure!

So, lads. Who feels like some some chicken wings?